More Than I Can Take
Putting too much on my plate has been a constant issue of mine. I have a terrible habit of taking on too much, even when I barely hold on to the basic needs of my care. That includes but is not limited to others' problems and issues, others' responsibilities, societal pressures of an immaculate and organized home, perfect home life, etc. You name it, and I am sure I have tried to put that thought, desire, or action onto my growing list of to-dos. As if being human and navigating life was not challenging enough, right?
My entire life has been a battle with this overwhelming process. The societal pressures to be the perfectly held-together human, juggling work, a side hustle, a perfect family life, and a beautiful exterior to match it, have been relentless. I've often felt like I was just trying to keep up with all the noise in the outside world to feel validated. It's a struggle that I'm sure many of you can relate to. But one thing I am sure of now is that I am placing healthy boundaries, making better decisions, and putting my needs first from now on.
Healthy boundaries are a relatively new idea to me. I come from a background where to be of service to others means to always be of service despite the red flags and warnings. You give everything you can for the sake of others' successes and happiness; to see them succeed is when you succeed. However, I've come to understand that service does not mean servitude. Service is about giving from a place of abundance, while servitude is about giving until it hurts. It took a long time to realize this. If I can't take care of myself and my needs, how can I care for another person? When my tank is empty, and I do not care for my boundaries, people will walk all over me. Setting healthy boundaries is about finding that balance between service and servitude, where I can give from a place of abundance without sacrificing my own well-being.
Setting healthy boundaries is a learning process, and I am still adjusting and learning as I go. But it's also a journey of growth and self-discovery. It has helped me evaluate whether something is worth my time and effort and shows me where I need to improve my self-care. As I navigate this journey, it's giving me hope for a healthier, more balanced future. I hope it can inspire you to embark on your own journey of self-discovery and growth.
As I write this, I am reminded of my patterns of measuring success and goals, and that would not likely motivate me to change. However, I may have something else that will work better. I need to take the approach of a habit. Making self-care a habit would enable me to streamline this care into my daily life. It's not just about self-care; it's about making it a part of my routine, a habit I don't even have to consider. It would eventually become so second nature that thinking and analyzing the outcome would no longer be an issue.
As I said earlier, being human is complicated enough. I am trying to make my inner dialogue of worrying and daily life less stressful and difficult. If I can do that, I will find more time to do fun things like creating and drawing and worry less.
