Seeking Vulnerability In a World of Perfectionism
Seeking Vulnerability in a world of Perfectionism
How can I feel vulnerable if social media, movies, shows, etc., wish to show extreme cases of body perfection, life perfection, or health perfectionism? Where do we draw the line between being human and the fantastic things we can change and alter through hard work and dedicated routines and being vulnerable about making it day to day? And, more importantly, why are we so fixated on perfectionism? These questions often keep me up at night and are worth exploring.
Perfection is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as follows:
Noun
1
: the quality or state of being perfect, such as
a
: freedom from fault or defect: FLAWLESSNESS
b
: MATURITY
c
: the quality or state of being saintly
2
a
: an exemplification of supreme excellence
b
: an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence
3
: the act or process of perfecting
The use of the word maturity was fascinating. I can't think of anyone ever using this word to describe perfection. Maturity in my mind brings forth thoughts of self-discipline as the art of self-mastery, both thoughts and actions. Perhaps I'm missing the necessity of drama and predetermined beauty as the key ingredients of a successful public persona, as seen in influencers, actors, etc. As I understand this to be accurate for most of the viewership, I wish there were more representations of maturity and less perfection within that scope. A wish is only that at times.
As maturity and perfectionism are dueling ideals within our social collective, I fight with the same ideals within my thoughts. My artistic and creative endeavors and what I choose to show the world blur the lines between perfectionism and maturity.
As an artist, I am harder on myself than others. An artist's harsh reality is unlike any other personal inner dialogue. I am quick to judge, assume, and determine the value of my art before another person sees it. I carefully choose what I will and will not share within the art community on social media. I will tear up artwork I've worked on for hours just as quickly as I post a quick sketch that only takes 30 minutes.
As a person who interacts with the world regularly, maturity can be seen in my self-disciplined routines or my dedication to maintaining my emotional diction. I am almost as harsh with my perfectionist ways of appearing as I am with my art.
As social creatures, we like to believe we don't need or want others' approval, support, or encouragement, but that's just not true. We thrive on it. Even the most hardcore " I did this all by myself" individuals can gain appreciation through social engagements. This may be one of many reasons we look to social media, the social cues of how the world works, to be part of the larger collective.
The larger collective has always been drawn to the social standards of perfectionism. We can see this throughout history in art. The beauty standards of the day are replicated in the facial and bodily structures as much as in the fashion trends and mannerisms. Today is no different, except for social media and entertainment platforms. The reach is far more extensive and instant.
Where will the ugly parts of humanity go if there is only room for the beautiful? We have all seen the interest in the ugly side of crimes and murder that gets pushed front and center. The ugly side of behavior is the same. Where is the remainder of humanity's complexities deemed too sad for viewership? The hidden shadows of the fringes of society.
I dare to expose my own "ugly" side of life and the humanity of being perfectly imperfect and flawed through this blog, sharing my struggles with others, being honest that today was a rough day and I barely got out of my PJs, and, most importantly, being honest with myself. For a time, I could hide behind a mask of perfectionism and maturity through the proper diction, clothes, and emotional intelligence. However, I will not conceal the chronic issues that weigh me down any longer.
If to see a disability in another is to see the ugly and uncomfortable side of being human, then I am glad to shed light on the beauty, resilience, and strength in those like myself. Not all disabilities are visible. Be kind to one another and remind yourself that everyone struggles with something, even if you can't see it.
